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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What is a 'Soulmate'?


God works in the most amazing and mysterious ways. Thanks to one of my dear and beautiful friends, our many deep conversations on love and soulmates, as well as the scraps in my journal, have been formed into art...

Oh, my falsehood. Oh, my shattered boy. My best written work thus far was the letter addressed to you that spoke to my undying adoration for your unclean soul. And even when I ripped up my articulation, rearranged the letters in order from need to want, my words weren’t enough to compete with your pride which stood eye to eye with my selfishness and "why's?". I sat, pen in hand, salt running down my face as I tried to find composure amid the lack of comfort in the space, but I couldn’t help imagining myself standing before you—feeling as if my heart were on trial. I stared into the murky blue, wondering why I wasn’t enough for you. How could one give so much and be turned away without a whim or thought and then not feel shame?  The game of confidence that I played, shriveled up and died in my own hands, at the thought of your eyes piercing mine. You were my everything and my nothing, the gift that never gave and here I was, broken, at the very utterance of your name. 

So I ask...

   

And while sometimes I ache, so many months away from my letters of plea bargains and tears, I’m glad you’ve given up on this little soul long enough for me to know… You weren’t a soul mate or a friend, just a stepping stone towards the man who will be my true best friend.

Thank you, God.
 


3 comments:

  1. You write like you were meant to write. I love you Katey K. - Rach.

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  2. Beautiful, poetic - and by the way, I wish I had your voice! :)

    F.

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