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Thursday, August 18, 2011

'Be still and know that I am God'

God is always speaking to us. Sometimes it’s through scripture, through a spiritual experience, from time spent in adoration or at your local church. Other times the Lord speaks to our hearts through friends, family and sometimes even strangers.

If you’re anything like me then God tends to hit you over the head in every possible way until you hear Him. Yes or yes? Yes. He does that. It amazes me how persistent He is when He wants us to hear something important.

A week or so ago He began by whispering sweet nothings of stillness to my soul.  Out of the blue my friend began texting me about Psalm 46:10 and her desire to find stillness in the Lord. I thought very little of this, and went about my business as I often do (she’s a Catholic Studies major with a fetish for theology, so I just sorta roll with the punches). A week later I find myself listening to a song that she had sent to me entitled ‘Be Still’, part of a taize prayer service. I found my spirit filled with a peace I had not felt in days, but once again…I didn’t think much about it. At this point God was irate, you know? I mean, HELLO! He’s trying to get some point across, Katey! So, here I am, packing up my things before I move back to Chicago when I stumble upon a calendar an agnostic friend gave me back when she thought all I enjoyed was Catholic/Christian paraphernalia (Dear Lord, please don’t smite me for having preferred something from Urban Outfitters). I laughed as I opened the calender entitled 365 days of ‘faith filled inspirational quotes’,  to today’s date. I was ready to toss it into the trashcan…but there it was, 

“There is nothing harder to obey than the command the Lord gives us to be still.”

WHAT?!

I sat back in my seat in awe. I felt winded, confused and yet…thrilled, all at once. On fire, and ready to drop my work to meditate on what ‘stillness’ meant—instead, I gave the Lord another reason to hit me over the head. ‘You have a lot of work to do, so just work for another hour or so and then you can meditate,’ I thought to myself as I put the calendar away for safe keeping, knowing now that I couldn’t throw it away, even if I wanted to. Moving to the next book in the pile, my acting notebook, I smiled and almost immediately forgot about my message from the Lord on stillness. Theatre, my earthly love and passion, often completely void of faith…and on the first page that I open to, written in bold, in my own handwriting on the top of the page what does God smack me with?:

STILLNESS IS POWER.

Hello, meditation!

Stillness. What is stillness? What does it mean to be still? Let’s go to the dictionary.

n. silence or tranquility

If you know me, then you probably know that I am rarely silent. I spend my days giving advice to my friends, conversing with my professors and laughing, at or with, my parish priest (mostly the latter). I even chose a career where speaking is key to my making, a very small amount of, money—Acting! But here I am, being asked by my creator to find tranquility in my own silence. Why would Christ ask this of me? Does He not relish in the sound of my voice? Does He not find my thoughts exquisite and profound?

Silence.

I gotta laugh as I write this, because I am once again taken aback and amazed by our Lord. My soul is elated at how better He knows how to care for me than I ever will. He knows exactly what we need, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes us feel.

And doesn’t silence do just that? At least for me, in my life as an entertainer...silence makes me feel like I’m not doing my job. Like I’m not working hard enough. And this makes me feel awkward, and often makes me babble about useless and pointless things. But that’s just it… why would the Lord want us to be uncomfortable in silence…where He waits for us.

Silence.

In the silence, where we are able to put down our guard, the Lord sits, waiting patiently to share His word. He fills us with calm, beckoning each of us to allow His impenetrable light to warm our souls. And in this immeasurable silence, we are able to hear His voice echo through each and every cell of our being, as He blows us kisses of His eternal love, mercy and hope.

Silence.

I have often found myself saying that I know who my closest friends are because they are the ones that I can sit in silence with. Well, here’s to God being my best friend, and to finally spending some quality quiet time with Him. Here’s to learning how to be still.

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